Thursday, March 03, 2005

another message to you

I understand you're tired after your long day/week at work. I've worked 14 hour days continuously before, I know what it's like, I really do understand because I've been there. I understand that sometimes, you need to be by yourself and and not have to worry about anything or anyone but yourself. I almost never ask you for anything on the weekdays and even on weekends, I let you decide if you want to do anything. I even let you play your computer games for the entire weekend. I'm frustrated because I understand all of that but I need your attention too. Once a month to go out and do something together, just the two of us, no friends, no family, is that too much to ask of you? You can't even manage once a month for me and only me?

It seems like you want it all. You want me to cook, clean and take care of you and the house. Take care of myself, be a wife but leave you alone unless you are in the mood to be with me. You want me to be happy, even when I'm not because sometimes you just can't handle my moods, and I can't blame you for that. You want me to be able to speak Italian by now, to be able to drive, have a black cocks job so we can have more money to buy a nice apartment. I suppose you want me to leave you to your own devices and me to my own. So I really don't see why I'm here other than to be your maid and very occasional companion.

I can learn to live without a lot of things that I'm used to having. Long conversations with old friends, shopping, going out to the movies, cable TV, a good career, I'm ready to give it up, all this and more but for a good reason. For someone who will appreciate me and what I'm willing to give to him everyday.